The feelings of time ending

Often times I sit with a stare, a gaze, to look beyond some place else. I generally feel nothing, especially when my eyes pierce with extreme scrutiny. All that comes into mind is color, texture, size, relational meanings, etc. But the feelings, the emotion, the judgements, all comes later. At times, when alone, I get sudden feelings of uneasiness and nervousness as if it were a delayed response to what was seen hours, days, months ago. Am I cursed to live with sediment at the bottom of my glass, only to be shaken up when in a relaxed mood, while in the act of quenching my thirst?