As I sit here, I let it creep upon me, dragging me into a descend-- this earthly desire for death. Lustful watchful eyes searching and scouting for ways, in imagination, in thought, in writing. Adorning myself with the motives to capture my essence. The weight carried is sharp and stabbing. The eyes conduct themselves in far distances. The will has liquidated into primal motions in wallowed, dark, cavernous interiors.
My mind searches for stagnant feelings. Enjoying the suffering, the pain in myself, the pain of others. The display of bodies and the disrespect upon when they cease function. Some day, I will, I will, I want, to return to where I came from. Dust and ashes.
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