"The red candy, along with my memories melts away, until there is nothing."- Dir en grey.
New endeavors leave me blind, but focused. There is a lack of assurance when doing anything, but the biggest question is: is it worth it? It must be worth something in our meaning making or our paths to become full human beings-- otherwise we will fail to grow and continue having infantile neurosis, which I still suffer from.
Every time I hit a roadblock or go by individuals who discourage me I feel more and more stuck. I lose the energy and leave behind my will to power, will to love, or will to live. Independence is extremely important because if it's not the case then we're still free to become independent. The very important thing for me now is whether I will effectively do what I say or live in a hole some place else.
Suffer well, but suffer with motivation to independence.
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